DENVER (AP) – The numbers are in. The opening weekend of Baydak went head to head with The Matrix Reloaded and, as it turns out, The Matrix squeezed by into the lead. The Warner Brothers’ blockbuster boasts that 12.5 million people rushed to the theaters for some action-packed fun. Buntport, however, nearly tipped the scales with a surprising 64 audience members. Actor Brian Colonna explains the slight discrepancy by pointing out that Buntport did not do a Sunday show this week. “I think we may have really limited ourselves from the get-go with our scheduling. You should talk to Erin about that.” Miss Rollman, however, did not wish to discuss the scheduling quite as much as she wanted to point out that “we didn’t really have much hope against The Matrix when you consider that some members of Buntport are traitors and chose to go to the stupid movie themselves right smack in the middle of our weekend run.” At this point, Colonna began wildly gesturing at Rollman and any further comment became unprintable.