Buntport Theater

A postal worker with blond braids sings into a microphone in front of a brick wall.

ARTICLE Denver Post- Buntport loves musicals. There, we’ve said it.

Buntport Theater is taking its first full original musical seriously. They’ll tell you so . . . just as soon as they finish their smokes.

As one actor is interviewed, he apologizes for speaking so softly. “That’s because we’re professionals,” he says with mock earnestness, “and we must protect our voices.”

Just how soberly are Denver’s popular insurrectionists taking (on) the musical form in “Seal. Stamp. Send. Bang.,” their 26th original production?

“The very first number has a woman singing about bird poop on her windshield that she believes is in the shape of an angel,” said actress Erin Rollman. “So right from the get-go, you can see that things are a little bit off.”

But lest you think Buntport has set out to merely parody the most easily parodied of American art forms, know that this acclaimed collective harbors a dirty little secret.

“The truth is, we do like doing musical numbers, because they are fun and stupid,” said Hannah Duggan. “We are not at all musical-theater performers – but maybe we all secretly wish that we were.”

This is a sore subject for Brian Colonna. In his senior year of high school, he was asked not come to back to music rehearsals. Why?

“They seemed to think it was not a winning battle,” he said. To which Rollman interjects: “It’s important to note that in Spanish class, Brian was also asked to stop speaking Spanish. True story.”

For a decade, Buntport has made its theatrical name by primarily staging intelligent, quirky variations on known titles like “Something Is Rotten” (for “Hamlet”). But while “Seal” is its first full, unabashed musical, fans have come to adore the company’s sporadic and often unexpected forays into song and dance. Kitschy, awkwardly performed, note-imperfect song and dance.

“People like to hear songs they know, set to different words. That’s a given,” said Duggan. “And when it comes with really bad dancing and colorful costumes, you just can’t beat it.”

Here’s a look back at some classic musical moments in Buntport’s history:
“Titus Andronicus: The Musical.” Immediately after Titus’ daughter, Lavinia, has her tongue chopped off, Duggan breaks out into an aria version of Britney Spears’ “Oops, I Did It Again,” sending blood spurting out of her mouth. It’s funny, Rollman said, because it’s horrible.

“The juxtaposition between a Britney Spears song and a moment that’s post-rape mutilation seems … an odd juxtaposition,” deadpanned Erik Edborg.

That moment is just so peculiar, Colonna added, “that you are either going to laugh . . . or hate us.”

“James and the Giant Peach.” In this classic episode of the company’s biweekly serial “Magnets on the Fridge,” the gang is driving to New York so Nathan can see his beloved New York Jets play football. But along the way, “we run into a group of really nasty marine biologists wearing shark visors,” said Rollman, setting the stage for a showdown between jets and sharks (rimshot). Suddenly, a “West Side Story”-inspired gang fight/dance breaks out, to the tune of “The Jet Song.”

“It really took people by surprise,” said Rollman, “because it’s not until the music starts that you ‘get’ just how dumb all of this really is.”

“The Nutcracker.” In an episode of the serial “Starship Troy,” Colonna plays a pilot named Zoloft (half human and half Sansmolarian). He falls asleep and has a dream in which he dances with a giant golden calculator and enjoys a sugarplum- fairy dance with Edborg and Evan Weissman.

The broken calculator gets stuck on the number 55378008. “Which, when turned upside down, says, ‘Boobless,’ ” said Weissman. Added Rollman: “We’re nothing if not classy.”

The Flobots! Long before Denver’s latest breakout band went global, they were among the Buntport faithful. They were enlisted to play for a “Magnets” battle-of-the-bands episode. The woeful Buntport combo, armed only with songs about Vienna sausages, forfeits to the rockers, and the episode ends with Edborg and the band singing a cover of “The Final Countdown.”

“All that Crap.” The last of 100 combined episodes of “Magnets” and “Starship Troy” ended with Buntport’s homage to the musical “Chicago” – and itself.

To her credit, Rollman meticulously studied Bebe Neuwirth performing “All That Jazz” on YouTube, and (tried to) steal her every move. The number included a lot of heavy lifting – though, oddly, it was Weissman being lifted, not the women.

“We tried in our best fashion to put in as many Bob Fosse moves we could, even though none of us are dancers – at all,” Rollman said, provoking Weissman’s defensive retort, “Hey . . . I’m a dancer.”

“Always wearing sweatpants,” Duggan responded, “does not make you a dancer.”

Colonna says that number ably marked the end of the company’s massive undertaking. “This was an endeavor that composed eight years of our lives,” he said. “What could possibly speak to what all of that meant? Crap!”

“Seal. Stamp. Send. Bang.” This new musical is penned by Adam Stone, who took a class taught by the Buntport collective at their Colorado College alma mater. Colonna calls Stone “a synth-pop-music machine.”

The story follows four separate protagonists, using the U.S. Postal Service as a central metaphor for mankind’s interconnectedness. The group promises Stone’s music carries the troupe far beyond its penchant for silly karaoke-style pop songs.

“This is not a spoof of musicals,” Rollman said. “But like everything else we do, how we approach our musical is maybe a little bit different.”

But the benefit of performing original music, Rollman said, is obvious: “This way, you guys don’t know what the notes are supposed to be,” she said, “so good luck with that!”

John Moore, Denver Post